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After being diagnosed with cancer, Sue Evans found real comfort in sharing her worries with Marie Curie’s support line...
When times are hard it’s great to have your family and friends to confide in, but sometimes being able to talk openly and honestly to a complete stranger can be exactly what you need. In 2019, Sue Evans (66) was diagnosed with bowel cancer and found the pressure she put on herself to be positive for others, meant she kept her fears to herself.
“I was diagnosed while I was off work with a broken hip. I had one bad day when I was in excruciating pain in the lower part of my stomach,” she said. “I mentioned it to the doctor, almost in passing, that I’d had some issues with my bowels and was experiencing pain. She sent me for a colonoscopy. When I went for the test she couldn’t complete it because she could tell there was something there, a tumour and she could tell straight away it was cancer. It was a huge a shock,” admits Sue.
She then found herself in that uncertain interim period where she was waiting for scans and to see a consultant to see if the cancer had spread anywhere else.
“I didn’t know what to expect or what I would find out,” says Sue. “My husband, as wonderful as he is, just kept saying, ‘you’ll be fine, don’t worry, you’ll be fine’.”
Sue had done some fundraising for Marie Curie in the past and knew they had their support and information line so gave them a call. ‘‘It was so lovely to talk to somebody who just listened to me and my concerns. The lady on the line was reassuring, listened without judgement and helped me learn more about my diagnosis.
“With your family they want you to be positive, and only have positive thoughts and that’s understandable as they’re trying to boost you up. Naturally they only want the best for you but that’s not how you always feel. Speaking to someone anonymously made me feel much better.”
Sue admits she came away from the conversation feeling much more reassured about her situation. “I felt I got exactly what I was worried about, off my chest. As soon as you hear the word cancer, you don’t feel good about things. Thoughts arise like, what if the cancer has spread?”
Fortunately, for Sue the cancer hadn’t spread. She underwent surgery and is now coming up her to her first-year check. “It was so nice to talk to somebody and not hear, ‘you’ve got to keep positive, you mustn’t be negative’. Sometimes that’s just how you feel, and you need to allow yourself to feel like that.”
Marie Curie are here to help
If you need a listening ear, call Marie Curie’s free support line on 0800 090 2309.
Their friendly team are specially trained to provide confidential and practical guidance for anyone affected by terminal illness, end of life or bereavement. The service is available across the UK and options include:
• Check in and Chat – a safe space to discuss your feelings and emotions.
• Regular support if you’re finding it hard to cope with the death of a loved one.
• Visit mariecurie.org.uk/support for information on living with terminal illness or to chat online.