Perimenopause can bring with it a whole host of changes as our bodies adjust to declining oestrogen levels. Every cell in the body has oestrogen receptors, so it stands to reason that symptoms of menopause can vary. From thinning hair to hot flushes, from gum problems to aching joints, some women experience few symptoms, some many, but one very common issue during menopause is vaginal dryness.
Changes to the vagina can be painful, upsetting and embarrassing, but vaginal dryness doesn't mean we need to put up with the discomfort, neither does it mean that sex is off the agenda. Our picks of the best lubricant for menopause dryness will help keep things smooth and far more pleasurable.
Studies have shown that around 50 per cent of women experience vaginal dryness and painful sex during menopause, but 90 per cent don’t seek out any help. Please, be sure to address this issue. Because it won't improve on its own, but it can be made better with some help. Whether that's using a lubricant, vaginal oestrogen gel, or seeking advice from a menopause specialist or doctor.
What causes vaginal dryness in menopause?
The sharp decline in oestrogen levels (we lose up to 94%) causes a wide range of issues in and around the vagina - including dryness. The overarching name for all these issues is Genitourinary syndrome of menopause- or GSM.
This hormonal shift causes changes to our vaginal health including the function and structure of the vulva, the vagina, bladder and urethra. In turn, this can cause dryness and irritation. We can also become more susceptible to urinary tract infections of yeast infections, such as thrush.
The vagina and the vulva may become thinner and atrophy may occur. This will mean labia lose some of their plumpness, and the inner labia will appear bigger. These might rub against underwear, causing friction and pain, whilst the thinning of the inner walls of the vagina might mean sex becomes painful.
As our periods come to an end, we don't ovulate, and so the sticky white discharge we produced earlier in life also decreases, so although we might be aroused, our bodies are no longer thinking 'lets make a baby.'
This can cause issues in couples, as some partners can take it to mean you don't want sex or aren't able to get 'in the mood.' Take time to explain to your partner that this isn't the case, and explore menopause dryness together.
What treatments can alleviate symptoms of vaginal dryness?
Personal lubricants can offer a helpful means of relieving these symptoms and help enhance the sexual experience. There's a range of types of lubricants, from water-based to silicone-based or oil-based lubricants. Which you choose comes down to personal preference - there's no harm in trying a few different types to find what works best for your intimate dryness.
You might want to just use a lubricant during sex, or you might find it's helpful at other times too, such as if you're going on a long hike or bike ride.
For more severe dryness that's causing issues on a near-permanent basis, vaginal oestrogen treatments might be helpful. Your GP can prescribe these and they are perfectly safe to use. Vaginal oestrogen is not the same as the oestrogen used in HRT and has a far lower risk associated with it because the dose is low and it doesn't get into the rest of the body. It will treat vaginal dryness but not any other symptoms of menopause such as hot flushes, so do get advice from a GP or menopause clinic to find out what's right for you.
Vaginal oestrogen comes in the form of a pessary, gel, cream or ring that you insert into the vagina.
Many of these treatments are only prescribed by a GP, however you can now buy Gina (vaginal tablets) and Ovessee (cream) over the counter. These forms of vaginal oestrogen can also help with dryness, soreness, itching, burning and uncomfortable sex.
Different types of lubricant for menopause dryness
At Yours, we've put together some information, including the pros and cons of the different types of lubricants out there, to help you choose the best lubricant for menopause dryness - and the type of lubricant that's right for you.
Water-based lubricants
Pros: They're safe to use with latex condoms and easy to wash off with soap and water.
Cons: These tend to evaporate quickly so you may need to reapply more. Many contain glycerin and parabens which can cause irritation in some people. They also don't work very well if you're having sex in water or in the shower.
Silicone-based lubricants
Pros: These are the most slippery and work well with latex condoms and in water. They also don't evaporate easily and many are free of glycols and glycerin.
Cons: They are hard to wash off and may leave a sticky residue on your skin, even after washing off. In addition to this, they can solidify on sex toys and potentially damage them.
Oil-based lubricants
Pros: If you are sensitive to any ingredients, they are often a good, more natural alternative. They're naturally moisturising and last longer than some other lubricants.
Cons: They can't be used with latex condoms as oil breaks down the latex. You can however use an oil-based lubricant with polyurethane condoms. If using an oil such as baby oil or petroleum jelly, it may risk the chance of you developing a vaginal infection or UTI (Urinary Tract Infection). Oil lubricants can also stain your sheets too, so you might want to lay a towel down before using it.
Natural lubricants
Pros: It's always a good idea to try the most natural ingredients first before opting for another kind. Many of these natural lubricants contain ingredients such as aloe vera and flaxseed. They don't contain extra chemical ingredients like parabens or glycerin, so you don't have to worry about those irritating you. You can also even make your own at home if you fancy.
Cons: Just remember that like with many foods people can be allergic, these lubes may still cause a reaction too, so don't just assume that because they're natural they won't cause irritation. You might not be able to use some of these with condoms and they may dry up quicker so need to be applied more often.
The best lubricant for menopause dryness
Tested
Best lubricant for menopause overall
amazonThe Balance Activ Vaginal moisturiser consists of 7, easy-to use pre-filled applicators of moisture gel that you use overnight for a week to ease vaginal dryness.
Our tester has been experiencing real discomfort during sex and also with day to day activity. In particular her weekly spin class that she teaches has become almost unbearable. So she's looking for an added form of moisture that will hopefully tackle both issues.
"You pop one of these little tubes of gel in right before bed - I did it when lying in bed so gravity didn't take hold! They're easy to use, and there's no discomfort putting them in," she said, and she was delighted to notice an immediate difference.
"The day after using the first one, I really felt a difference. I didn't have the awful discomfort I've been feeling when sitting or walking. By the end of the course I felt good enough to have sex again, which was such a relief as I was worrying my sex life was over at 42!"
The Balance Activ gel has great reviews across the internet, and it does work well, but unfortunately it's not a permanent solution - generally speaking relief is felt for about 9 days, and our tester agrees with this, saying:
"I wish it was a more permanent solution, but I fear that might not happen until my body is ready for HRT. I used these for a week, and felt great, but after another week the dryness was coming back. So, I'd say they're great, amazing, even, but not a permanent solution - although that's not an issue with the product itself."
Pros
- Water-based lubricant
- Clinically proven fast-acting relief
- pH balanced with your skin
Cons
- Improved symptoms only lasted less than a week for most
Tested
This intimate serum, from renowned menopause platform Issviva, comes in a small bottle with a pipette for easy application. It's for application on the vulva only, and not for internal use, though Issvivia do also offer a water based lubrication gel.
Our tester has been experiencing pain and chaffing when walking, caused by dryness, and she had reached the point where "I dread it being my turn to walk the dog, which is ridiculous."
She was impressed with the initial look of the V-Moist, saying "It's a small bottle but nicely packaged and it doesn't scream 'mum has lube on her dressing table,' which is good!"
The serum itself "has a barely-there fragrance, which is great. I also love that it's made of such gentle ingredients like coconut oil and beeswax."
The V-moist also contains antioxidants, to soothe, soften and hydrate the vulva. So what did our tester think?
"It was easy to apply, and a little goes a long way, which actually makes it good value. I did feel it was a lot of money initially but then I realized how little you actually need."
"It does moisturise and hydrate the vulva really well. I could walk with no issues, and really enjoyed taking the dog out again! The serum isn't sticky at all, which is great. I do wish it was able to be used internally, but I will look into the water-based lubricant for that.
I understand why this serum isn't for the vagina, and it's great, I guess I would just prefer the lazy option of having one product that does it all! However, for stopping chaffing and discomfort it's a definite ten out of ten."
Pros
- Noticeable results and quick relief
- Easy to apply
- Absorbs easily
Cons
- For external use on the vulva only
Best nautral lubricant for sex in menopause
amazonThis lube is made specifically for making sex more comfortable and is made from 100 per cent natural ingredients. It's water-based and pH-friendly with no added fragrance or colours. It's safe to use for oral, vaginal and anal sex, and it's also safe to use with your sex toys as well as with latex condoms.
One reviewer found she could "finally be intimate with my partner again," while another simply said "this stuff is magic!"
Another review said "you only need to use the smallest bit a little goes a long way. It's not sticky unlike a lot of lubricants. I would highly recommend it."
From trusted brand Durex, who know more than a thing or two about sex, this is the lubricant for you if you're looking to revive your sex life.
Pros
- Natural lubricant
- Suitable for use with latex condoms
- pH balanced with your skin
Cons
- May need reapplication a few times
4.
K-Y Liquid
Best water based lubricant for menopause
K-Y Brand Natural Feeling Liquid Personal Lubricant is designed to feel natural, and couples reviewing it have found it great for "increasing lubrication during intimacy."
It contains gentle ingredients and is compatible with latex condoms. Other customers have commented that "It has no taste or burning, and mixes well with natural lubrication."
However, be aware that cleanup after sex will be necessary: "It does become sticky on the skin once it dries, but that is an easy cleanup.
While it's a great product for increasing lubrication during sex, many prefer the KY jelly (or gel) that is also widely available owing to its thicker consistency which makes it easier to apply.
Pros
- Water-based lubricant
- Compatible with latex condoms
- Recommended by doctors
Cons
- Many preferred the consistency of the gel
Best continuous lubricant for menopause
bootsLike the Balance Activ, the Replens long lasting vaginal moisturiser comes in single dose tubes that you place high up inside the vagina.
However, unlike the Balance Activ, it's recommended to use these in the morning. Now, I'd say that's personal preference, as I don't like the sensation of something coming out of me, so I'd do it at night.
Unlike most other lotions and vaginal lubricant based solutions, ReplensMD delivers continuous moisture, making every single application last up to 3 days, so you get a longer lasting effect than the Balance.
Many reviewers have praised its effectiveness at delivering moisture and easing dryness, and it can help with intimacy. However, be aware of an issue that some have found: "not great if you are sexually active as turns into big white clumps that I can only describe as cottage cheese.
Pros
- Oil-based lubricant
- Long-lasting relief per single application
Cons
- Can turn into white clumps
Best internal moisturising lubricant for menopause
amazonVagisil ProHydrate is designed to feel more like your body's natural moisture, and contains hyaluronic acid to plump the vaginal walls from within. It's also a slow-release formula so the moisture will last. it works in the same way as the Balance Activ with individual tubes you insert into the vagina.
Reviewers like the "thick Gell consistency" as it's "more like your normal discharge." But a lot of people mention that "it has a strong smell to it."
Although the price point is fairly high, a little goes a long way, and does offer relief for a period of time (around 3 days for most). Reviewrs have said it's not only useful for sex but has also "relieved the awful day to day dryness I was having."
Pros
- Gel-based lubricant
- Gynaecologist tested
- Slow release
Cons
- Has a strong smell
Best budget lubricant for menopause dryness
The Lubido water based intimate gel is vegan friendly, suitable for use with sex toys and condoms, and is a very affordable price.
It's odourless and doesn't contain any irritants as reviewers can attest: "I was wary with lube as I am quite sensitive with products in the downstairs region but I've absolutely never had any problems with this whatsoever."
Customers also like that it stays moist for a long time. It's perhaps better suited to sex rather than providing long-lasting moisture on a daily basis, like the Balance or the Replens lubricants are, but it has many happy customers all saying how much it's improved their intimacy.
However, many reviews mention that to does dry sticky, so you'll need a shower or a good wash after: "Great lube but very sticky when dry!"
Pros
- Water-based lubricant
- Condom compatible
- Affordable
Cons
- Becomes sticky after a while
Best multipack of lubricant for menopause
amazonThis multipack contains one water based lubricant and one oil based lubricant. The water based one is hydrating, PH balanced, and suitable for daily use and/or sex. It's completely organic and suitable for use with partners, toys and condoms.
The oil based one is designed for prolonged love making and, while it's perfectly safe for that and also for use with silicone toys, it's not suitable for use with condoms.
Customers like having 2 different options, and there's also the potential for using both together, which one reviewer found helpful: "feels natural especially if you use the water based on top of the oil based lubricant."
While most people praise both lubricants, a few customers have commented that they're very cold straight out the tube, so warm it first. The water based lubricant also has a tendency to dry sticky, so opt for the oil based one if you'll be using it for a while.
Pros
- Natural lubricant
- Organic plant-based ingredients
- NHS approved
Cons
- Can feel very cold on application
- Water based one can be sticky
FAQs
What is vaginal dryness?
Women affected by vaginal dryness experience an unpleasant dryness in the genital area. Symptoms of vaginal dryness include an itching or burning sensation in the genital area. In addition, the vagina can also become more susceptible to vaginal infection or urinary tract infections as a result of these changes.
How do you apply lubricant?
If you've ever used a lubricant before, you know how cold it can be, which is why it's a good idea to warm some up in your hands before you apply it. Once it has warmed up, apply it to your vagina with your fingers. Sometimes, certain lubricants will come with an applicator. Always read the instructions so you're clear on how it's applied.
Becky Fuller is a senior digital writer for Yours.co.uk. She is also a fully qualified personal trainer and strength coach, specialising in fitness and wellbeing for over 50s. Prior to joining Yours, Becky was a fitness writer for Saga, and a freelance entertainment and theatre journalist. Becky is passionate about helping people to move well and discover the many benefits of strength training.