When Joy Warren lost her husband of 50 years, she didn’t know where to turn. Then the Oddfellows friendship group came along and made her feel like herself again.
Looking at Joy Warren today, smiling as she shares a cup of tea and a natter with friends at an Oddfellows meet-up, you’d never believe that five years ago she was in a very different place. After a wonderful 50 years of marriage, Joy was devastated when her husband Graham passed away in 2014. Having spent so long doing everything together, she struggled to know what to do and how to rebuild her life without him.
However, having always been a busy woman, she knew she had to find a way to keep herself occupied once again and find a new challenge in her life. “I’ve never been the type to sit still so despite the fact I was still grieving for Graham, I knew I had to get out and socialise again,” Joy (75) says.
Thankfully, she received the support from two kind neighbours, Janet and Michael, who introduced her to Oddfellows, the national friendship group they were already part of. First set up in 1810, Oddfellows is one of the largest and oldest friendly societies in the country, with 310,000 members across 124 branches nationwide. Run by members for members, Oddfellows offers friendship and support to every one of its members with the aim of improving their quality of life.
Members are invited to regular social events at their local branch, such as coffee mornings, craft sessions, lunches out, guests talks and excursions. There’s also the chance to take advantage of the group holidays run by its Active Travel Club as well as the offer of care and welfare advice, special member discounts and historical archive access.*
For Joy, though, the thing she took the most from meetings with her local Oddfellows group in Brighton was the chance to meet like-minded people who helped her come to terms with her grief and find a new way to move on once she felt ready. “I made wonderful new friends at Oddfellows who even encouraged me to get involved with the organisational side of running the group which I really enjoy,” she says.
Joy also benefitted from the practical support her local Oddfellows branch could give her around managing her finances. “I’m of a generation where my husband Graham always used to take care of our money, so it’s been tough for me to figure what’s the right thing to do,” she says. But with the support of Oddfellows, who put her in touch with Citizen’s Advice, she’s been able to get all the help she needs. “They’ve really helped me through some difficult times,” she explains.
And having got so much good out of joining Oddfellows, Joy is now evangelical about encouraging others to get involved. “My advice to anyone in this situation is to get out there, socialise whenever you feel ready and don’t worry about going to events alone,” says Joy. “People are always friendly and if you’re nervous you can ring ahead so there’s someone there to meet you who understands what you’re going through.”
To find out more about Oddfellows, receive a free information pack or find details of your local branch and events, call 0808 028 1810 or visit www.oddfellows.co.uk/firststeps
The Yours FitMind50 challenge is about making the most of life. The challenge is to try 50 new things with no time limit, whether that’s taking up a new hobby or stepping out like Joy did to join a social group