Everyone's Christmas looks a little different, but it just wouldn't be the same without those silly Christmas cracker jokes you find inside Christmas crackers that make us laugh (or cringe!).
They're a great idea to include inside homemade crackers, or perhaps if you decide to make your own cards.
The best Christmas cracker jokes
Here are 50 of our favourite jokes for Christmas crackers, separated into categories:
Best Children's Christmas cracker jokes
1. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
2. What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet!
3. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles!
4. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it!
5. What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper!
6. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!
7. What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle Smells!
8. What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
Cross Mouse Cards!
9. Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
10. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!
11. What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
12. How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle!
13. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!
14. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Can you smell carrot?
15. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed a trim.
16. What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
Mistle-toad!
17. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping.
18. What do snowmen eat for breakfast on Christmas morning?
Ice krispies.
19. What did one Christmas tree say to another?
Lighten up!
20. What is it called when Santa takes a break?
A Santa pause.
21. What would you give your dog for Christmas?
A mobile bone.
22. Why is a foot a good Christmas present?
Because it makes a good stocking filler.
23. What do snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
24. What did the salt say to the pepper on Christmas?
Seasonings greetings!
25. Why is Santa so good at karate?
He’s got a black belt.
26. Did Rudolph go to school?
No. He was Elf-taught!
Best Christmas cracker jokes for adults
1. What did Santa say to the smoker?
Please don't smoke, it's bad for my elf!
2. What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!
3. Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
Because they were two deer!
4. What does the King call his Christmas Broadcast?
The One Show!
5. What did Father Christmas do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker!
6. Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
7. What is Olivia Colman’s favourite part of a turkey?
The Crown
8. Who is Santa's favourite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
9. What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
10. How can you keep your home warm this Christmas?
Tinsulation
11. How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas?
He felt his presents
12. Why did the Grinch go to Bargain Booze?
He was searching for some holiday spirit
13. What does Father Christmas do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack
14. What are the best Christmas jumpers made from?
Fleece Navidad!
15. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
Auld Fang Syne!
16. Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low "elf" esteem!
17. What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days!
18. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even!
19. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!
20. What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?
Twerky!
21. What says ‘Oh-Oh-Oh’
Santa walking backwards!
22. Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas?
Noël Coward!
23. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me and we'll go places!
24. Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital?
Because he has private elf care!
25. How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger!
26. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Because their days are numbered!
27. What carol is heard in the desert?
O camel ye faithful!
28. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
29. Why does Kate Bush need to turn the heating off?
She’s running up that bill
30. How did King Charles III sign his Christmas cards to his family?
The Artist Formerly Known as Prince
31. Why are the government having problems with their own version of the Christmas Nativity?
They can’t find three wise men
32. What do people heating their homes and wrapping paper have in common this Christmas?
Both of them are getting ripped off
33. What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf?
You are so last season!
34. What do you call someone that’s scared of Santa?
Claustrophobic!
Stephanie Spencer is the Deputy Digital Editor for Yours. Having worked across a variety of topics, from travel and food to pharmaceuticals, she also has a particular interest in mental health and wellness having studied biosciences at University.