While their marriage may not have lasted, Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio's friendship endured until her death.
“He came alone, and I came alone to an Italian restaurant, to meet a group of friends. But we left together – and ahead of everybody else.” So remembered Marilyn Monroe, on meeting baseball legend, Joe DiMaggio in March 1952.
DiMaggio had discovered Marilyn when he saw a photo of her posing with a baseball bat, and it was a dream-come-true for him when mutual friends agreed to set them up. Marilyn on the other hand, almost didn’t show up
for the date. Wary of sports stars and their over-confidence, she expected to meet a brash, loud-mouthed ego-maniac. When she did arrive at the restaurant – almost two hours late – the actress discovered a quiet, softly spoken person, who seemed as nervous as she was. The couple spoke for hours; Marilyn gave Joe a lift home, and from then on, they saw each other regularly.
The relationship was heaven-sent for enterprising photographers and gossip columnists, but from the very beginning the romance was not destined to run smoothly. First of all, DiMaggio’s ex-wife Dorothy Arnold was not keen on her former husband’s new romance, and was said to be furious when their ten-year-old son, Joe Jr referred to Marilyn as, “The Doll”.
Things became worse when Marilyn and Joe took the boy to restaurants and bars that Dorothy felt were unsuitable. However, the child enjoyed spending time with Marilyn; the two became friends and kept in touch for the rest of her life.
Just days after meeting DiMaggio, news broke that the actress had once posed for a nude calendar. The dust
had only just settled from that scandal when it was revealed that Marilyn’s supposedly dead mother was actually alive and living in a sanatorium. Add to this Marilyn’s spell in hospital to extract her appendix, and the ongoing media intrusion, and you could say that the first few months of Marilyn and Joe’s relationship were not exactly positive.
Despite everything, the romance continued, though it was on unsteady ground. Joe had retired from baseball and was now seeking a quiet, settled life. Marilyn, on the other hand, was heading to superstardom – during 1952 and 1953, she acted in films such as Monkey Business with Cary Grant; was offered the part of Lorelei Lee in Gentleman Prefer Blondes; and played murderess Rose Loomis in Niagara. While Joe occasionally visited Marilyn on film sets, he balked at the idea of accompanying her to parties or film premieres. When required to bring a date, the actress would often be seen either alone, or in the company of reporter Sidney Skolsky.
On and off
In early October 1952, Marilyn and Joe took a break. “It’s hard for me to discuss,” she said. “Perhaps later things can be worked out. Right now, we’re not seeing each other.” Neither party discussed why the break-up had happened, but several weeks later it was back on, and rumours circulated that they were secretly married. Marilyn gave the stories short shrift: “If I wanted to get married now, I would,” she said. “And if I already were, the studio’s wishes would not be important enough to make me keep it a secret.”
The couple stayed close throughout 1953, and Marilyn proved to be a good friend when Joe’s brother, Mike was killed in a fishing accident. She spent time with the DiMaggio family in San Francisco, and later told friends that it was during this time she decided she’d like to marry Joe. The baseball player returned the favour, when Marilyn twisted her ankle on the set of River of No Return (1954). He shot up to Canada, and the two spent some quality time together, before shooting restarted.
While Marilyn’s career was skyrocketing, her dislike for what she considered to be fluffy roles was apparent. By the end of 1953, the actress had had enough of the studio system, and refused to commit to The Girl in Pink Tights, without seeing the script first. When Twentieth Century Fox refused her demands, Marilyn flew to San Francisco and hunkered down with the DiMaggio family for Christmas.
On January 14, 1954, Marilyn finally married Joe DiMaggio. The courthouse in San Francisco was crammed to capacity with reporters and photographers, and even the normally press-hating DiMaggio managed a
huge smile for the cameras. Marilyn's dress was rather understated, complete with s fur collar. Shortly after, the couple flew to Japan, where Joe was scheduled to coach baseball. Together they visited injured American GIs, and then Marilyn headed to Korea to entertain the troops. “That was the happiest time,” she recalled. “When the thousands of soldiers all yelled my name over and over.”
While the tour was a massive success, it did put strain on Marilyn’s health. By the time she arrived back in the United States, the actress was suffering from pneumonia, and her marriage to Joe DiMaggio was already troubled. In a letter dated February 28, 1954, Marilyn apologised to her husband for her continued lateness, expressed how much she missed his hugs, and told him of her hope that one day he’d be proud of her as a wife and mother to his children.
Divided ambitions
The trouble with the DiMaggio marriage was mainly that Joe wished to have a stay-at-home wife, while Marilyn was still anxious – and hungry – to have a fulfilling acting career. Of course, Joe’s attitude is tremendously old-fashioned in today’s world, but in the Fifties it was considered perfectly normal. Most women settled down without question, but Marilyn was not most women...
So instead of finishing work and starting a family, she went back to Hollywood, sorted out the problems with Twentieth Century Fox, and made two movies: There’s No Business Like Show Business (1954) and The Seven Year Itch (1955).
The move from San Francisco to Los Angeles was stressful for DiMaggio. “Too many kids know where we live,” he said, “because the picture of the house we’re renting was published in a magazine. They ride up and down the street and even ring the front door bell.” He vowed that the couple would find another house as soon as they could – though as it turned out, it was under different circumstances than he expected.
The couple soon learned that they had few interests in common. DiMaggio loved nothing more than watching sports on the television, while Marilyn was a thoughtful person; studious and a keen reader. She wrote poetry and enjoyed talking about the creative arts with friends – neither of which captivated DiMaggio. He was also taken to moods on a frequent basis, and would refuse to speak to his wife for days at a time. “When I sense there’s something wrong,” Marilyn said, “I ask, ‘What’s the matter? Sorry if I did something.’ If Joe doesn’t answer I don’t push it.”
The atmosphere was made worse by the presence of Marilyn’s acting coach Natasha Lytess, who despised DiMaggio with a passion. “[He is an] often morose baseball-star-with-muscles,” she later wrote, and she made no secret of her dislike while coaching Marilyn.
Breaking point
When Marilyn filmed the skirt-blowing scene for The Seven Year Itch, it was in front of thousands of New York
fans, photographers and journalists. DiMaggio was in attendance and left outraged when his wife’s skirt flew up again, and again, and again.
He stormed back to the hotel and later confronted Marilyn about the incident. While we’ll never know exactly what happened, that argument – and the stifling atmosphere at home – was enough for the actress to hire a lawyer. The couple moved out of the marital home, and on October 27, 1954, Marilyn appeared at Santa Monica Court House, to initiate a divorce.
This should have indicated the end of the relationship, but their association was far from over. DiMaggio became somewhat obsessed with Marilyn, to such an extent that he hired private detectives to watch her every move. When the gumshoes tracked her to an apartment block, they told DiMaggio that his ex-wife was entertaining her vocal coach Hal Schaefer.
DiMaggio and his friend Frank Sinatra arrived on the scene, stormed into the property and found that they were actually in the home of a woman called Florence Kotz. Marilyn – who was with Schaefer in a neighbouring apartment – made a run for it. “I don’t believe I’d be around today if they’d found me in the apartment,” remembered Schaefer. “They almost wrecked the building.”
As 1954 rolled into 1955, Marilyn became ever more frustrated with her contract at Fox. She left Los Angeles before Christmas, and moved to the east coast, where she lived with her new business partner, Milton Greene and his wife, Amy.
This was not the end for Marilyn’s relationship with Joe, however. When she moved into her own New York apartment, he was there to help carry her belongings, and then they were spotted dining together on several occasions. Even The Seven Year Itch – the film that had caused such chaos in their relationship – led to a reunion of sorts, when Joe accompanied Marilyn to the premiere, and then celebrated her birthday at a local nightspot.
When Marilyn and playwright Arthur Miller became an item during 1955, Joe DiMaggio faded into the background. However, the moment the couple announced their divorce in 1960, Joe came back into Marilyn’s life.
The last few years had been hard, and when the actress was admitted to a psychiatric hospital (mistakenly she believed), it was Joe who helped secure her release, and Joe who stayed by her side as she recovered. Reporters were ecstatic at the possibility of a reunion, though Marilyn was quick to put them straight: “I’ve always been able to count on Joe as a friend, but there is no spark rekindled,” she said, much to Joe’s disappointment.
Enduring friendship
Romantic partner or not, DiMaggio had learned some important lessons since his marriage to Marilyn, and desperately wanted to help get her life back on track. He phoned and visited regularly, and even told friends that he was willing to move to Los Angeles, just so that he could be close to his ex-wife.
Sadly, in the end, no amount of love could save Marilyn’s life, and she passed away in August 1962. A devastated Joe stepped in to help with the arrangements, and together with Marilyn’s sister, he organised the funeral and made sure the guest list was kept small and intimate.
Joe’s love for Marilyn never diminished: he organised for flowers to be delivered to her grave for the next 20 years; never remarried and refused all interviews about her. The question remains: if Marilyn had lived, would she and Joe have remarried? It’s doubtful, given what we know about their first marriage. But while Joe DiMaggio may not have been the best husband in the world, he did prove to be a faithful and honourable friend, and that perhaps, is what Marilyn would have appreciated, more than anything.